The problem. The very fundamental problem of Twitter and perhaps all kinds of social sites (I don't actually know what they are termed, I prefer calling them social sites since they rhyme with parasites which then again says something) is that you see people in their entirety. I'm talking about Twitter specifically now as a kind of social media. I love Twitter and always had (since 2009) but recently I am beginning to ab(hor) and by hor I mean many are becoming more and more of tweetwhores. (this line is very unoriginal since they are all YouTube jokes but putting that aside)

 I think people can't be blamed for being the tweetwhores they are I mean come on I am a tweetwhore as well considering how my tweetcount is verging on 8k but I think the limitations of twitter (I mean that literally) which is its 140 characters policy makes life all the more.....simplified. I am sorry if this post is  making you yawn already that is why I added parenthesis which makes something special according to my literature teacher and also...punny humour. Okay so going back to the topic, I realised that there exists more and more irritants (or contaminants) on Twitter who or which basically tarnish the good name of Twitter.

I'm talking about...

1) Exhibitionists (describing literally what every fibre of your being is up to)
i.e I just pooped and had green stool...totally looks like ke$ha
I am gyrating to this song...like a boss
I just shot someone with a Nerf Gun and he didn't die
My pores are blocked and now I can't excrete sweat properly
I am having a bad hair day. Look at my fugly face http://www.twitpic.com/badhairday5777


As you can probably tell these are not real life examples though I wish real life examples could be as interesting as these. That way I wouldn't cringe at such tweets. Actually now that I think about it I think such tweets are tolerable and entertaining...(and to be honest I am entirely guilty of such)

What I really can't stand are....

2) Fashion Police
i.e Girllll take a good look at yourself in the mrt reflection...you look like a pre-pubertal Snooki
Oh for the love of the fashion god what is up with this woman and her peep toe boots
Woman, learn to wear some makeup, you look like you just got hit by a ten ton truck


As you can tell I am not very good at fashion police impersonations cause quite frankly, I don't see the point of them. Everyone is entitled to how they choose to look even if it isn't pleasant to my eyes or your eyes or Lady Gaga's. If we have to restrain our only mode of immediate self-expression, then I don't know how else we'd go about doing it. Perhaps running around with flash cards on our heads along with a description of our personalities would be a better idea?

3) By-products of materialism
i.e I am so angry right now, my dad promised me an iPad 3 but he didn't get me any
I dreamt that my Prada jeans ripped in two and I woke up crying
I am craving ___ so bad right now that if I don't have it the earth will split open and swallow me whole

which is also linked to

4) Poor little rich kids
i.e I hate my life, why can't I cab to school today...oh right cause I'm living only on my parent's pension currently
I have to downgrade to a HDB FML
Can't get myself Kate Spade because my mum already got me Ferragamo pumps :(

5) Overly ranty
i.e Sian can just die already out of boredom
***** sia this uncle you think your father's land ah

6) Narcissists
i.e Unhappy me http://twitpic.com/unhappyme987
Constipated me http://twitpic.com/contipatedme987

7) Jilted lovers and broken hearts
Okay I think I forgive these types cause apparently love is the strongest feeling (whatever that means)

8) Hipsters
i.e I want to smoke a fag but this place ain't cool enough
This picture is so trippy I feel like I just had magic mushrooms
Party rock anthem is totally uncool idg why they can't play Two Door Cinema Club instead


My point ultimately is that yes, although Twitter is meant for all these kind of tweets, you should tweet in moderation. It's just like eating. You don't eat junk food excessively but you eat junk food in moderation. Similarly, when you tweet, tweet nasty things in moderation. That way we can all thrive as a happy and healthy Twitter community.